A cookie's just a cookie, but Fig Newtons are fruit and cake

Benomena!
Straight up, last week dominated, due in large part to a little flick I like to call "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith." Maybe you've heard of it? Well here's the deal: it freakin' shredded Burt McCracken's face off and fed it to Gerard Way, chopped them both into pieces, and then stuffed them both into garbage cans and left them floating off the coast of Florida in shark-infested waters*. That's how awesome it was.
I know, I know, I had some quibbles with it upon my first viewing, but my faith is now immutable having witnessed it a second time (and ruining some plans in the process.... *tear*) and I swear to you all that this is right up there with "Empire" or "Jedi." Really. I swear.
What can I say about it? Not a whole lot, since many of you haven't witnessed its grandeur and majesty just yet, but allow me to hook up some intense kudos for this film. Standing in the rain for an hour and a half to catch the midnight premiere? Totally worth it, especially because of the various Jedi and clone troopers that decided to check it out as well. Heck, even Darth Sidious showed up. I'm told that at the midnight premiere at Point Cinemas here in Madison that a Wookie was waiting in line. That's dedication. And a lot of hair.
Side note: Wookies rule.
Second, the D.B. Cooper set on Friday night at the SA pretty much crystallized the essence of domination in one 12 minute, sweat- and adrenaline-pumped gig. The opening instrumental smacks mightily of Isis and is quite possibly one of our best songs, and leads perfectly into "Go to Sleep." Yeah, the guitar could've been louder, but... what're you gonna do?
My favorite single moment had to be performing "Future Prognostications of the Rise and Fall of Glam Rock as Seen Through the Eyes of Edward Zalinski." All 4 seconds of it, including Zach's scream. Killa!
Not quite so hot was my high E string breaking during the blast beat part of "Remnants of Shaw," or that my fingers were cracked and bleeding the rest of the night, often on my guitar. Wait, actually, that is pretty cool. Scratch that.
Jon's 7-year-old nephew Christian was there rocking with us as well, air drumming alongside Jon, tatted out like a mad demon biker from the 5th Circle of Hell (the one reserved for the wrathful and the slothful (where else would bikers go?** If you know, please tell me.) Anyway, the show was killer, and Zach had to turn right around and play a Fallen Sparrows set, and his freaking low E string broke amidst the other mayhem and destruction. Oh well. C'est la guerre.
And then there was the orchestra concert on Sunday. All told, pretty good gig. However, I should really think at least twice about playing Beethoven's "Concerto in C Minor" at a moment's notice having never practiced it before, you know... before I actually do it. I also wonder if I should've taken that position from Kevin since he's actually... you know... in orchestra. Oh well.
The 80's medley went along pretty fair as well, but sometimes Wayne Wiley and Christina and Drew and the orchestra and I would wind up playing different tempos or sections, and we'd have to force it to where it should be, often violently. At least you couldn't hear me, more than likely. I played through a PA, basically, and it didn't really deliver a whole lot in the volume department, unfortunately. But the orchestra was the real draw, anyway, so I'm not heartbroken.
Anywho, listen: this is my final week of 3rd semester here at MMI, so I'm at school working on some projects and studying for exams, and then... it's go time.
Scoo-oots!

XOXOXOXOXO
Ian

P.S. "HEY! Got some cwater here for ya!"


*This episode actually took place in the early 70's and was inflicted upon a hapless gentleman who was going to testify in court against Clay Shaw, the man New Orleans DA Jim Garrison is convinced ordered the assassination of JFK. So, I'm not morbid and I didn't make that stuff up. And besides, it'd be sweet if the world was freed from their cruel emo oppression anyway.
** Yes. All of them.

Can't you see that I'm growing a mustache?

But does it really make me look like a man?
So, Shawn is now 21 and possesses a lightsaber (though he has not yet attained the rank of Jedi Knight), and also owns a killer bouncy ball which will serve perfectly for 4-square, or any other of the multitude of purposes a bouncy ball does serve.
I'm not being facetious.
There's plenty a bouncy ball can do when you put your mind to it. Think about it. It can be a means of transportation, or a seat, or a missile, a distraction for a cat, a paperweight, a flotation device, a symbol of office (ask any medieval king, they'll tell you the same), a chin rest, a foot rest (more obviously, perhaps), a plug, a shield, a globe, an exercise aid... Think of the infinite possibilities! Now that's using your noodle.
Anywho, Ryan Bushaw bought the Darth Vader voice changer today, which is basically Vader's helmet, and appropriately enough, when you talk into the mic, the voice that comes out is Vader's, but with your words. It even does the heavy breathing! So of course we tried it out at Taco Bell, where the Dark Lord of the Sith ordered a grilled stuffed burrito (if memory serves) and went on record as saying that an employee's powers were "weak." (It also does a few of Vader's lines from the first 3 films, but shockingly did not include "Your lack of faith disturbs me." Weak!)
Everyone should check out the show at the Salvation Army this Friday, as it could prove to be D.B. Cooper's last show before Jon returns from his missionary trip this summer, so if you want some face-ripping grind, you know where to be.
Oh, and by the way... Episode III is 2 days away, people. You thought I had forgotten, didn't you? Prepare for imminent domination!

XOXOXOXOXO
Ian

Is that- ohhhh! Rob... and Bob... SCOLARI?!?!

Greetings!
So, I actually saw Grease on Saturday night and I have to admit that... um... it wasn't terrible. Okay, it was actually pretty all right. Okay, fine, it was good, there, I said it. But don't think for a moment that I like the play in and of itself. As far as I'm concerned, the verdict's in, and Grease still blows like there's no tomorrow.
Leon White was definitely the savior of the show, and it also helped that there was a pretty decent cast for once (it helped that Tom "I'm-a-faux-intellectual-d.b.-who-tells-girls-that-their-bodies-are-wonderlands" Strieker was absent), so... was I unduly cynical about the show? Yes and no. Yes, in that it turned out to be pretty all right. No, in that it really sucks that Parker Playhouse has to do a pile of dog excrement like Grease in order to draw in an audience. It'd be nice if people checked out good shows once in a while. You know that if they did a production of a Henrik Ibsen play, there's be, like, 26 people attending it, and most of them would be related to various members of the cast. Not that Feollmi would ever consider doing an Ibsen play; I doubt she knows who the guy is. Even though he's... you know... one of the titans of drama and all. *Sigh.*
Anywho, enough of my pity party. Otherwise, the weekend was pretty all right. I mowed the lawn here at 737 for the first time (I finally became not afraid of the stick shift on our lawnmower), and I had some pretty spectacular alfredo when we went out to eat for Mother's Day (which oddly enough didn't occur on Mom Day. Hmmm.....), so I'm not all complaints. Hardly.
Anywho, to summarize:

House of Wax = sucked pretty bad, but had a couple funny moments*
mowing the lawn again for the first time in many moons = solid
Grease = awfully darn good in spite of itself
Erin Stamm = 18 year old Alzheimer's victim (seriously, don't tell her anything, she won't remember)
today = the Shaw's b-day (congratulations, Bear. I'd get you a new bike, but I'm so broke, I can't pay attention.)
Star Wars Episode III - premiering a week from Wednesday
butter = radioactive dump
global warming = load of crap
Ian Olson = pretty sweet dude and all-around man of the people
today also = 60th anniversary of V-E Day
Yalta Conference = FDR sells out Eastern Europe to Stalin
FDR = sucker
raspberry iced tea = not so hot
Danny Beechler = wearing my pink tux to Prom
Bray Road Beast = poopbutt

Okay, that's all folks. Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

XOXOXOXO
Ian

*usually in the guise of Paris Hilton being annihilated

What are... cows?

Greetings!
Did you all know that you can get a medium pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar's for just $5? That's our new plan of attack for lunch break in my studio class nowadays. We send Evil Mitch over to East Wash. and he hooks up about 9 pizzas which somehow all get eaten. Not a bad deal. I still prefer steak quesadillas, though.
Anywho, Walken had a show in Des Plaines, Illinois on Friday night, and we loaded down the 15-passenger van with enough gear for Godspeed You! Black Emperor, but we have about 1/3 or 1/4 as many people, which is the funny part. Zach played his accordion live for the first time to rave reviews, and we projected "It's a Wonderful Life" during the performance. Unfortunately, we didn't get the gas money we were promised, so the donations we received ($4) went right into the gas tank, and we all chipped in about $5, so we wouldn't be stranded 91 miles from home.
The next day, I suffered lascivious wounds at BioLife and bled for a while, but got my game together and made it home on time to be picked up to see "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" with Erin, Jenny, Joe, Brad and Shawn, with resulting hilarity. I don't care what any hipsters may say to the otherwise, it was extremely faithful to the book and was probably one of the funniest movies I've ever seen by far. It basically blew donkeys to rubble.
Afterwards, I went to Hanna's with that crew fora little while, but I had to be on my way to Parker, because I was contractually obligated to see Grease, but alas, the tickets sold out whilst I was in line. Oh, and before anyone tries to turn the tables on me, Kayleigh refused to reserve me a ticket, and I couldn't get a hold of Kevin to help me out on that front either, so blah.
Anyway, I was hardly heartbroken about this state of affairs (though I did fear retribution from Kayleigh) so I asked Jon if he wanted to see... "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Still funny as all get-out 5 hours later.
I discovered that Shawn, Jon and I know every single last line and sound from the "Star Wars Episode III" trailer, including Wookie calls. Moreover, we do all of the lines in character, and I always call out "Jimmie Smits!" when Bail Organa is on-screen for approximately 2 seconds.
We had the last official Cells of this year on Sunday night which was a polyglot mass of joy, contentment, sadness and oddly enough, fear (only in that we were afraid that Eric J. might show up and destroy happiness), but it was also rewarding to look back upon our last year together. Hopefully an officially sanctioned Cells can continue in the Fall, but that sort of depends upon the auspices of the new Salvation Army folks who will be coming soon.
Yesterday, I went to Fond du Lac with Jon so that he could contest his speeding ticket he got on the way to the hXc festival in Appleton 2 weeks back, and because of his stirling record, he'll be paying about $50 less and will now get fewer points off. Oh, and he has 3 months to pay it now. Holla. Furthermore, I think his fly ensemble really helped his case. He kinda looked like a Beach Boy. In a good way.
So now I'm taking today off since my Pro Tools project is done, and it sounds like my dad wants to see... "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Go figure.
I'm hardly complaining, though.

XOXOXOXOXO
Ian