A Nice Pickle We've Found Ourselves In, Mr. Frodo

Hey! It's me! I'm online once more and to my astonishment, my left hand can type awfully fast now! Well... it's still sub-standard in comparison to my right, but progress is progress nevertheless. Has it really been a month?! Sheesh. Time flies when you're invalided (NOT invalidated, mind you). Gosh. It's really unfortunate that my last post included an anti-Pantera rant about a week before Dimebag Darrell's death at that Damageplan show. I don't approve of the guy's habits in the least, but being shot five times seems like a pretty stiff penalty for the fella. Reflection on this episode has helped me to realize, though, that... ugh... I still kinda like Pantera. There. I said it. I've had a couple odd musical epiphanies since being released from the hospital, not the least of which included:

• I still like punk and ska from the 90's onwards, at least the likes of Pennywise, the Bouncing Souls, Rancid, Less Than Jake, and the Pietasters.
• Rush is... pretty sweet. Totally ridiculous sometimes, but you're a liar if you say you don't like "The Spirit of Radio." And "Subdivisions" is a pretty killer song. And Neil Peart is potentially the awesomest drummer ever.
• I like Yes. Yes, I said it. I like 'em. I did in 7th Grade, and I cop to liking them once more. "Starship Trooper," "Roundabout," "Long Distance Runaround," "I've Seen All Good People" and "Close to the Edge" are all awesome songs.
• I like Def Leppard, although I have no idea why. As completely retarded as it is, I dig "Foolin'," and "Photograph." Then again, I think I only do because those songs are so terrible that they demand to be adored. Something like that, at least. And at least I still hate "Pour Some Sugar On Me." That is irredeemably awful.
• I like Kylie Minogue. Wait. I already knew that. Nevermind.
• I like Van Halen. Not Van Hagar, mind you, but the first two Van Halen albums and 1984 are pretty good, although admittedly I think it's according to my aforementioned Def Leppard definition of "good," which actually means "bad," but a brainless rock-out version of "bad" that is almost enjoyable.
• I'm not sure how much I actually like the band Asia, but "Heat of the Moment" is a really cool song, even though it's about nostalgia circa 1982. Oh well.
• I like Slayer. Yeah, they kinda suck, I admit it, but they sure won't, and they rock with old-school metal fury. Not liking them demands too much effort on my part.
• I like Duran Duran. "Planet Earth" is an awesome song, in fact as inversely awesome as "Girls on Film" is rubbish.
• Blue Oyster Cult are pretty rad, though not a cult. "Ohhhhhh noooooooo/ There goes Tokyo!/ Go, go, Godzilla!" may be some of the awesomest lyrics ever, and "Burnin' for You?" Get out of here, that song rules. Forget about it.

Of course, I've also come to realize that I've really been missing out not sledding the last couple of winters, and the agony of not being able to now is almost too much for me to bear. I vastly overexaggerate, but nevertheless, being unable to sled during prime sledding conditions kinda sucks. This is a direct corollary to my statement before having surgery about never taking things for granted. Then again, my forced exemption from physical activity at the moment has allowed ample time for Halo 2. Perhaps... a little too much time, actually. Then again, I don't have it as bad as my brother, who wakes up having nightmares about Halo reaching for a Needler. That guy's a little weird.

I wish I hadn't missed out on being out and about during Christmas; I like being amidst people as they're Christmas shopping. It's kind of like watching people at an airport, if you understand my meaning, and I know that shopping can become a hassle and whatnot, but the aspect of being amongst all these people and spreading holiday cheer and good will towards man is the part that appeals to me. Oh well. I'll go to the Mall everyday next Christmas. And maybe an airport while I'm at it.

You know who's not cool in the least? Andy Rooney! That guy's an old poop who's disgruntled by... just about everything under the sun, and 60 Minutes just gives him free rein to prattle on and gripe about nothing in particular! I kinda wish he was on the island of Jakarta around the mid-19th century for an encounter with an old buddy of mine, name o' Krakatoa. You know who else kinda sucks? David Cross. He has about 4 jokes that I thought were kind of funny on one disc of his latest 2-disc comedy album. Most of the time he's a foul-mouthed pointless ranter who's as close-minded as the people he verbally assaults. And he was in Scary Movie 2 with Chris Elliot. That's about reason enough for me to take an active dislike for a person.

I don't really know why pressing "Enter" makes me skip a line now, but it makes me think the thoughts I've typed into this entry are really haphazardly arranged. It kind of looks like it could be a transcription of a Larry King dialogue. That guy's suspenders are impeccable.

I think I'll stop here before my verbal hemorrhage becomes unbearable. Sorry. I'm just really excited to be back. We'll continue with the History of Middle-Earth either tomorrow or the day after, folks, so I hope you're all ready for a history lesson! Thanks for bearing with me, folks.

Love, Ian

P.S. I neglected to officially mention that Worms is most definitely in my Top 5 Games of All Time List. I don't know how I could have made such an egregious error, so I send my sincerest and deepest apologies.